Do you ever just get so frustrated that you just don't know what to do with yourself? I am to that point. I'm there with me, I'm there because of my job and other things.

I know that I'm not the greatest mom and I totally admit to that. I know that there are times that I just need to walk away but don't. Then you just get lost. My family is lost right now and we are really trying to find ourselves. Tonight was my first night off in over ten days. It was a rough day for me because I had spent a good majority of the day cleaning my house.

Yes I know you say, "Well anytime you want to come over my house will be clean." I'm am now a liar. Most days I end up taking the kids out to some place for a few hours (so "The Hubby" can actually work) then we come home and eat lunch. "O" then takes her nap and then "N" and I just have our time together for about 2 hours then I get ready for work and I work 4-5 hours a night. When I get home I'm lucky if I can spend ten minutes with "The Hubby" before he goes back to work.

Do you remember the days before cell phones and computers? I do I remember that we didn't get a "Computer-laptop" until I was in seventh or eight grade. But that was only used for me to type up papers and I had never even heard of the internet. Our first real computer was bought back I think when I was a junior in high school. Even then I still didn't know what the internet was.

It was a beautiful time. I didn't even get a cell phone until 2000 when I married "The Hubby". Nobody knew where you were 24 hours out of the day. You had to entertain yourself instead of using the computer. It's just so frustrating because that's all "The Hubby's" job revolves around. He was talking about taking a family vacation but we'll see about that.

I love my husband and I feel bad that he thinks he has to work all the time and just revolve that way.

My job is getting a little crazy because when I was hired I told my boss that there would be times that I needed to have a few days at a time so "The Hubby" can do his job and travel.

Ok I'm done. I'm going to bed and we'll see tomorrow the outcome from all of this. Good Night!

So it's yet again been crazy with work and the kids. "N" is now enrolled in Preschool and starts next month which is cool. Today is my first day off in eight days which is even better.

We are having a hard time with the kids and respecting us and each other. It's funny because when we had just "N" he was always very sweet and nice and listened a lot of the times. Now that we have "O" it's just gone down hill.

All "O" does is scream, hit "N", take his toys and is jut a real big jerk. "N" then reciprocates it and does it twice as bad. What really upsets me is that a few weeks ago "The Hubby" helped "N" reorganize his room and it took them about 2 hours to do it. An hour and a half later "N" trashed it.

I know that I haven't been the greatest mom lately and it's no excuse for his attitude but I have no idea what to do. I have taken his toys away, didn't work, time outs-don't work. I have no idea what to do. And with everyday "O" is getting out of hand too.

I have been taking the kids out a lot during the day so "The Hubby" can work. We've been going to Jump 'n Play and Pump it Up almost every day. They like going and stuff but then they get nasty after we get home. So I have now told them that unless they keep their rooms clean and are nice to everyone in the house, then we can start going back there and having fun again.

If you have any tips for me or any other mom that is feeling the same way I do, please leave a comment in the comment field so we can just try anything to raise better happier children.

Again it has been a while since I last did an entry. I have been working at night and this past week my mother in law was in town from Michigan so we were spending time with her.

We did the combo party this past weekend for the kids and they had a blast. "O" really enjoys her presents and "N" is hyped up about his little handheld game.

Life has been difficult lately. "The Hubby" and I are kind of like drifters in the night. He works all day and I go to work in the evening and he's still working when I get home. Oh well, that's life right? He's been talking about a vacation or something like that he wants to take towards the end of summer.

It's hard to believe that this year is my 10 year reunion. It's funny because I watched Grosse Pointe Blank last night. I really like that movie plus it has John Cusack in it, which makes it even better.

My workplace fired a girl the other day so now I may be able to pick up her hours. I'm debating on transferring stores so I can pick up extra hours. My goal is to earn enough money so that I can by "The Hubby" season tickets to the D-backs on the 1st baseline. We did take "L" (mil) to the D-backs game this past Saturday night. It was fun and where we sat I always have fun. "The Hubby" said that he may start taking "N" to the games now too which should be fun.

Funny thing happened over the weekend. The garage door broke on us. Luckily only my car was stuck in there. The repair guy came out and so far we've only been able to just get the car out. The springs aren't covered by the home owners insurance thing so we are waiting on the owners to figure out what to do.

I'll try to figure out what to write for tomorrow.

I actually broke down and bought three Victoria Secret bras today. That is the most I have ever spent on bras in my life. I call it a good investment for work since the are the "Ultimate Pushup Bra". I do need  a little help anyway since I did nurse two kids.

I'm trying new things out to see if I make more tips and here's what I have learned so far:

• Most guys tips better if you don't wear glasses.
• They like makeup (that's a give in).
• It's half and half about if they like the hair up or down.
• They like shirts a little tight (baby doll shirts).

I'm also trying a new perfume tonight as well. I plan on being a waitress for a while and I just want to see what works the best. Now remember, I don't work at a Hooters type place, it's a local pizza/sports bar. It is family friendly so obviously I don't dress trashy. We wear black or khaki pants, black baby doll tees, and tennis shoes.

If you need contacts, at the Sam's club I go to they have the Focus Dailies 90 pack on sale for $19.99 instead of $34.99. So I bought two boxes of those as well. Remember that you don't need to have a Sam's card to go to the optical department either.

So now that my robots are back and in action my house is starting to get more clean. Don't get me wrong I would vacuum everyday but it's just easier when I don't have to spend all my time doing it. I'm getting the house ready for when my mother in law comes out next week then it not so hard to handle.

Next weekend we are having a combo birthday party and Easter for both "N" and "O". So I really have to get my butt in gear for decorating the birthday cake. Luckily both kids like Lightning McQueen. If any of you know how to decorate cakes can you please tell me how to get that deep red for McQueen? I tried doing it and it just turned purple and I was so upset.

We actually had to turn the air back on today. Very disappointing. So the kids are fine. "O" is six inches shorter than "N" right now. She also learned to say some more words which is always awesome.

Like I said yesterday that things are slowly falling back into place.

As in a previous post, I'm tired of everyday trying to come up with a new title everyday. I'm sorry, I'm just not that creative. So there's the deal on the title.

Last night I had to work and had one of my sitters over and I won't go into what happened. I really feel bad because the kids have had a sitter everyday for the past week. Luckily "The Hubby" comes home tonight and when I go back to work the rest of the week, he'll be here instead of sitters.

I actually really like working at the pizza place I work at. The people I work with are really nice and the customers there for the most part are very nice as well. Since I have started working there, almost two weeks ago, I have lost almost 10 pounds. I'm actually going to start going back to the gym so I can feel better about myself and the weight loss progress I am making.

I do feel a little out of place where I work because I am the third oldest in the group but the only one married with kids. It's weird because even when I was single I don't think I was as much of a partying kind or player at their age. When I was young I would only go out on Friday and Saturday nights until the bar closed (wouldn't drink because I wasn't of age) get home about an hour later and go to bed an hour after that. I would get up the next day no later than 10 am and get going.

I know everyone's different at different ages and I know it's their choice to do that but it's just funny when they come in and say, "Yeah I was up until 5am and then I didn't get up until 3pm." Like I said, they are nice people and they are really great to work with. I just don't know how I could ever stay up that late or wake up that late.

I'm starting to also make some ok tip money. From a server, please don't skimp on a tip. The other night I gave this couple awesome service and their bill was $40 and they didn't leave me a tip at all. But come to find out, they do this to everyone.

Other than that life is getting back to normal. My robots are back in action for now. The kids are finally starting to take naps. All is right with the world.

Sorry, I forgot that when the month changed that I have to enter something or else it goes to a blank page.

So here's what's going on with us and such. "The Hubby" has been out of town for almost a week and a half. The kids are acting like jerks and I have been paying a babysitter so I can work at night.

So tomorrow night "The Hubby" will actually be home for more than a day and that will be good, plus cheap since I don't have to pay him for sitters.

Today I went to the grocery store and then went to Super Target because I didn't feel like dealing with the old people at Walmart. Super Target is a total rip off. I called them a few weeks ago to see if they price matched their groceries and they told me yes just bring in the ads. So I go in today and found all but three things I needed and proceeded to the check out.

I get there and I ask the girl to hang on a sec since my cart isn't put together the way I like it since the Super T is backwards. I give her the ads and tell her what is on sale and then she tells me, "We don't price match." Here I am getting a little fed up with Target (I'll go into that in a different blog) and I then tell her, "I called here a week after you guys opened, about three weeks ago, and the the Service counter said you price match." She then gets her manager and she tells me the same. Then I tell her that after all this crap and leading up to today I will no longer be shopping at Target and especially at Super Target.

Not like they really care because they'll get business whether I go there or not but whatever. I had a nice empty threat last night at work but like I said it's empty and no one really cares.

I am totally serious about not shopping at Target though. Yes the people there are nice at the Super T, but their prices suck and it's not a one stop shop.