Here it is Tuesday afternoon and I'm finally getting a chance to actually blog about stuff.  Yesterday I was busy with taking "N" to school and dealing with "O" and after her attitude at Walmart I had to go to a doctors appointment and rush home so "The Hubby" and I could leave to get baptized at church.  We then proceeded to have date night.

Today I took "N" to school, did my CORE class, tanned, came home to shower and hang out with "O".  As I was laying her down for her nap, "The Hubby" asked if we'd like to go with him to get lunch even though we had already eaten.  She wasn't asleep so we all went out and of course all the fun began when he realized that Paradise Bakery had a 45 minute wait just to order food.  We then went to Bajio for lunch and I just ordered chips since I wasn't that hungry and she didn't eat all of her lunch.  So when "The Hubby" got his lunch she wanted some after she decided that she didn't like the chips, and he gave her some chicken then spit it out.  I am getting so tired of her doing that.

So now I'm fighting her to take a nap and it's going on 2pm and I don't care how long it takes, she WILL take a nap.  She has a serious attitude problem and I'm not putting up with it.  "N" knows that he has to shape up and if "O" doesn't then she'll be spending a lot of time in her room.  I don't have the energy to deal with her like that and by God she will learn.

I've already started having nightmares the other night.  Luckily I didn't have any last night.  It was stupid and the worst part was that I couldn't wake myself up to stop it.  I'm sure that won't be the last and it is only normal to have those types of dreams when you're under a tremendous amount of stress like that.

Last night on the way home from CCV that we stopped by a new shopping center that's partially opened so I could return some pants and then we had a really nice dinner at Sauce where we sat outside in the most awesome weather.  "The Hubby" had a few beers and we shared a pizza and tomato salad, really nice and then we walked over to Best Buy and just looked at things there and came home.  The new sitter we have is pretty awesome and the kids like her too.  Unlike the other sitters, she helps pick up the kids mess and plays with them instead of watching tv.

I guess last night she and "N" played Wii Bowling and Golf.  He loves to play the Wii and the Xbox 360.  My son is getting to be so awesome to hang out with.  I'm also trying to not baby them so much.  That means that I only hold their hands in parking lots, when we go for our nightly walks we them them go a little bit ahead of us.  It's hard because of the things going on nowadays.  I know that things have changed a lot since I was a kid, I remember playing in the front yard with no supervision sometimes and now I don't trust people to let my kids do that.  Plus I have a desert landscaped front yard so it's just rocks and all that fun stuff.

Once the fertilizer sets in the grass a little more then they can go play in the backyard by themselves.  I'll be able to put our little pool out there too and have to remember to dump it every night.

I can't wait for all of this stuff to be done and over with.  Maybe then our lives will calm down. 

"N" didn't have school today because it is Spring Break, fun for me.  All day so far all I hear is "O" screaming and crying and not telling "N" to stop and him not listening.  I'm am so ready to ship them off to Timbuktu and be done with it.  I do not need their crap right now and all their stress.

We also bought a bunch of plants for inside the house so hopefully we'll be getting better air quality.  I do notice that with my orange blossoms that those rooms do smell better.  We are debating about getting a taller green bambooish tree for the corner in the living room since it's so high and my little orange blossom looked stupid there.  We might just go to Lowe's the next time, without kids, and see what they have to offer.

I now have my schedule for Mayo Clinic for next week and it is crazy considering now I have moved "O's" appointment again but this time it should be all good.  So now I have appointments from April 30-May 5 and on May 1 I have appointments all day and trying to figure out if I need a sitter or not.  "The Hubby" doesn't need to go because it is just a few X rays, pre-certification, would care, and a pre-op medical exam.  Fun, fun, fun.  Not!!! Oh well, at least I know that I won't have to worry about colon cancer again and then within six months everything will be back inside.

I was going to have a huge garage sale this weekend to sell off the kids baby things but I really just don't have time to go through all the boxes and clean the floor and organize everything and deal with the kids.  We were also going to have a party but this weekend is my last weekend to just hang out and next weekend we have to go with "The Hubby" to California I just don't have time.  We were also going to go to the D-backs game on my birthday but since I will just be out of the hospital for a week that we don't think it would be a whole lot of fun since I'll be still tired and I'm sure pretty sore.  So I'll either have it in June or wait until October to have it when it's a lot cooler.  I guess we'll see.

I'll post more but here it is 11:30 am and I have been dealing with the kids, trying to get laundry done, cleaning the house and something else I don't even remember.  Oh yeah, trying to get caught up on work.  I'll try to either post tonight or tomorrow.

This past Monday "N" started going to his new school.  So far so good, he seems to like it and looks forward to going everyday.  I'm having a hard time because I wake up early in the morning, get both the kids fed, dressed and teeth brushes before I take them to drop "N" off at school.  The school is about 25 minutes away and so I run him there, race home to drop "O" off and race up to the gym for my CORE class.  Since I'm already losing weight I figured I might as well try to get my body into as much shape as I can before my surgery as I can.

I have been doing a lot of thinking and have thought about my whole situation.  If I had not met "The Hubby" when I did and not changed my diet almost 8 years ago, I would be staring cancer in the face and going through chemo after the surgery.  I honestly think that diet also had a factor in this.  After I met with the genetic counselor, she informed me that I probably have had the polyps since my late teens/early 20's, I met and married "The Hubby" when I was 21 and here I am almost eight years late and all I have are the pre cancer cells.  I finally told "The Hubby" yesterday about the way I've been feeling about this and that I do thank him and he tops it off by saying, "You're healthier than me."  I remember back when we first met and how badly I ate and he was eating much better than me.  Now I really watch what the family eats and he snacks a little more than I do but you what?  He can because he doesn't do it all the time and he works very hard 24/7 with work, family and my crap.

I know that the pains I have been having are just from stress because all of my blood tests and body scans have all come back normal and so from now on I just have to have an Upper GI scope about once a year and the same with my thyroids.  No big deal and the best part is, I don't have to live with an external bag for the rest of my life so by this time next year I'll feel comfortable to wear a bathing suit.

It's just going to be so crazy next week, starting on Wednesday we have to meet our financial adviser that we haven't seen since we started with her about two or so months ago, on "O's" birthday I get to spend all day at Mayo doing all my paper work and final exams and fun stuff, I meet with the surgeon one more time on Friday, Monday I meet with their OB/GYN for my tubal ligation and Tuesday's the surgery and I'll be there until that Saturday.  Luckily this happens before my birthday so I can still go to the Tigers vs. D-back baseball game.  They're here on birthday, Happy Birthday to me!!!

I have been under so much stress that I have been really trying not to yell at the kids but it's so hard when they know what they are supposed to do and yet don't do it.  I know that there is no excuse for that and I really am working, I just think it's so stupid that the kids know what they are supposed to do yet they don't do it and we have also tried to explain to them what's going on with me, which I know they don't understand but still it's very frustrating dealing with them right now.  "O" is just the biggest butt head ever.  I have to take her out with me when I have errands to run, I get home and shower around 10am and we leave around 10:30, as soon as we get in the car she starts crying, pitching fits, taking sock and shoes off.  Her tantrums aren't fun either.

I have been doing some clothes shopping for myself these past few weeks and I have now found three stores that I totally love and they are Levi's, Dockers and New York and Company.  I can wear anywhere from a size 6-8 in their bottoms.   How cool is that?  The Levi's I own I have to exchange because I've lost so much weight that the pants just fall right off my butt.  Since April 2 I am now down to 130 pounds and would like to be about 127-129 lbs when my surgery happens. 

I'm sitting here looking at my Outlook calendar and it's just crazy up until the surgery.  Once that happens then I'll not be doing a whole lot for a little while.  I guess I can call that my mini-vacation.

This past Friday I met with with the surgeon who's performing my ileostomy.  The surgery has been scheduled for Tuesday May 6th, so for a little while after that I will not be posting.  I will be at the Mayo Hospital four to five days and may not feel up to posting for a little while.  I do promise to post when I can just so you can track my progress.

So here's what the surgeon told me, I will be having a temporary bag because as they are to the ileostomy they are also forming a J-pouch using my small intestine.  I go in just before the surgery so he can look to see if he can use the staple method or the hand sewing method.  Either way I will have a bag for about four months and then after the area has healed then they will close up my stoma and I will be able to use the bathroom as normal.

He has told me that I can get infections easier in that area but are easily treated with an oral antibiotic.  I will also be going in to have an Upper GI scope done once a year just to make sure that there are no polyps in my stomach or small intestine.  I don't remember if I told you that it's now known where the genetic mutation happened and my kids will be going in for genetic testing after my surgeries and I'm healed.  Their blood will be drawn and since it's known where to look, they'll go right the that chromosome to see and if they DON'T have that mutation then I don't have to worry about them having FAP or it turning into colon cancer.  If one or both, they have a 50/50 chance, has the mutation then they will need to have the same surgery by their early 20's.  If "O" has the mutation then she will need to go in for a CT scan to check her liver and if there are any little tumors then the surgeon will go in and cut off the infected area and the liver will grow back.

Monday I will be going back in to meet with my GI doctor and I'm sure it's just to go over any questions I have and then I wait until May 6 for my surgery.  I thought that I had a pretty good support system but I have found out that it's not as good as I once had thought.  Oh well, at least I have friends and such out here that are able to help and want to help.  In the last few weeks I have made some of the greatest friends I have ever known and I thank God everyday for them.  I can actually say that and really mean that I thank Him for that.

A few weeks ago "The Hubby" and I have become members of a really good church and look forward to going every week.  It will be harder for me to go in a few weeks but leading up to it I will be there.  The Pastor is great and really relates to us and it feels like he's talking to me.  When you find a church or something like that where you feel that he knows what you need to hear or the areas you need to work on and is able to give you helpful advice through the sermon, you have found a great place to be.  Because of "The Pastor" I really want to learn more and I have found that I try to read The Bible as I go to bed.

I know that a lot of people I know have not so good feelings about this and at this point in my life, I no longer care because all I need is my supporters and Him and I will be doing just fine.  I have found myself trying to be a better person and I'm trying really hard to not use curse words and talking ill of people.  It's hard to break habits that you've had for many years but they were bad habits to begin with and those are the worst ones to break.

All I know is that I have closure to many things I have been dealing with for many years and after the service today I have found other ways to get my closure and still be able to live life a little less angry.

Yesterday I spent the whole day at Mayo Clinic.  It gets so tiresome when I have to do that.  I was there at 8am for my CT scan, they are checking to make sure that I don't haven tumors elsewhere.  If they do find tumors that the are going to be benign and won't be removed because they will grow back.  I have never had a CT scan before and I hope to God that I never have to have another one again!  It sucked because I had to drink three containers of a barium solution and also an IV iodine-based dye that had the weirdest feeling ever.  With that dye it sends a very hot flash through your body and it feels like you peed on yourself.  The hot sensation was so bad for me that I felt as though I was on fire.  Not fun and like I said I never want to do it again.

Also, as I was drinking the liquid I was also having diarrhea and a very nauseous feeling.  That liquid tasted like crap and was just not a good day.  Afterwards they tell me to eat and drink a lot and I tried but didn't succeed in drinking enough and spent the whole day in pain, gassy and overall feeling like crap.  It got worse as the day progressed and I had to stay there and wait for my genetic counselor meeting which was very informative.

I now know where in my DNA my genetic mutation occurred and since that is known, the kids can now go in and get their genetics looked at.  If at that line on chromosome 5 is normal, my kids will be normal.  If their chromosome is not normal then "O" will have to go in for a CT Scan to check her liver because F.A.P. can cause tumors else where and if caught before they turn 5 years old that the spot on the liver can be removed and the liver will grow back.  the kids have a 50/50 chance of having it.  If they have F.A.P. then it's also recommended that their colon be removed sometime in their 20's.  Hopefully as time progresses that when the kids (if they have this mutation) turn 20 that they won't have to have their colon removed.  I just pray that this has skipped the kids because I really would feel badly giving this to them.

From what I've also been told is that we (my brother and I) have had these polyps since our late teens early 20's.  So I am very lucky I went in when I did because I have had this for so long that no one knows when it could turn into cancer.  I think it not only depends on your genetics but also your diet.  The healthier you eat, the longer you can hold it off.  If you know that you have a family history of either FAP or Colon Cancer, go now and get it checked because you never know when it will turn from FAP into Cancer. 

The colonoscopy isn't as bad as people say.  It sucks because you have to watch what color you drink, you can't really eat, you have to drink a mix that makes you spend a good amount of time in the bathroom.  But remember that you are knocked out during the procedure and you have an excuse to sleep all day and nothing can be said about it.   I was actually looking forward to having more colonoscopies but now I get to look forward to getting my Upper GI done yearly.  It's easier having the upper GI done because you just have to stop eating at midnight and stop drinking 4 hours before the procedure which you'll be knocked out for as well.  

I am having a very hard time dealing with the decisions that have to be made but I know that I have to do this because I choose to be here for my kids.  I need to be a positive role model through this so they can see it's hard but once it's found and you deal with it, you have the rest of your life to do whatever you want.  I am a very lucky person because I found out before this turned out to be cancer and once my colon is out, I don't have to worry about colon cancer ever again.  I now can sleep easier every night knowing that and that I will be here for my kids as they grow up. 

Even if you don't have a history of colon cancer or FAP, you still should get checked because you never know.  FAP is still in the early stages of research but hopefully they will be picking up on it and doing for research so it can be prevented.  So please, just go in to your doctor and ask to be referred to a gastroenterologist and just have it done.  It's not bad and then you'll have the peace of mind.  Or you can also have a genetic test done, I was lucky that mine was found because of how far down the marker was.

Today I have been crazy busy with getting "N" enrolled in his private school and getting both cars washed, waxed and oil changed and now that I have had a chance to sit down I wanted to tell you about a cereal that my family used to eat called Malt-O-Meal.  The brand that's being recalled is the Unsweetened puffed and Puffed wheat cereals.  They also manufacture under the brands Acme, America's Choice, Food Club, Giant, Hannaford, Jewel, Laura Lynn, Pathmark, Shaw's, Shoprite, Tops, and Weis Quality and the  "Best used dates" range between April 2008 to March 2009, be smart and get rid of it.

It has a chance of having salmonella contamination so just look through your cupboards and just throw it all away and don't buy it for a long time.  Luckily with never used the puffed wheat but now I know that I will NEVER used Malt-O-Meal ever again.

February of this year I went in for a colonoscopy because of my family history of colon cancer.  My mom died of it when she was 40 and my younger brother has stage 3 colon cancer.  I have been diagnosed with pre-cancer Familial Adenomatous Polyposis (FAP for short) which means an inherited colorectal cancer.  Luckily for me I don't have cancer yet but it can change any time it wants into cancer.  I am going through the Mayo Clinic for my treatment.  I have four more appointments with specialists to make sure that I don't have problem areas in other parts of my body.

I will be meeting with a genetics counselor, a surgeon to remove my colon and have my tubes tied and also having an Upper GI scope this afternoon.  Going to be a busy next few weeks and luckily my "MIL" is sweet enough to come out while I have my surgery to watch the kids.  I have been told already that my surgery will be done laparoscopic and I will heal considerably faster than the other way.  For the most part my support system is good and a few people need to work on their manners.  We'll see how it goes with them.

"N" went to a huge birthday party on Saturday and we spent pretty much all day there either playing on the trampoline and the inflatable slide.  We got home around 8pm that night and the kids still woke up at the butt crack of dawn.  Sunday we spent literally all day at church and so between them they didn't get a nap either day and today "O" wasn't in a very good mood whereas "N" was.

Our new addition to the family (the black persian who adopted us) goes in tomorrow to get fixed.  She has really come around and is really cool.  She's eating more, I need her to gain weight since she's skin and bones, she really lazy but she does kill bugs like there's no tomorrow.  She earned her keep the night we brought her in by killing a huge mosquito.  "O" is still deathly afraid of her, she'll change soon.  I help "O" pet the kitty which "N" has named Tatum.  I was going to name her a persian name but thought it would be hard for the kids to pronounce Farsi words so I asked him to name her.

The kids pretty much leave her alone and she stays downstairs and she has this fascination with sleeping the bathroom sink so I let her do it every now and then.

She has been groomed and now lets me brush her.  I bought two brushes but since she's so tiny that I can't use one but she loves the Zoom brush.

Ok well it's getting time for me to leave and get my test done and then sleep the rest of the day.  They give you the same drugs as I had for my colonoscopy without the prep (drink this, don't eat that) spending the afternoon in the bathroom.  I'll let you know how it goes later.

Things are slowly calming down.  "The Hubby's" in LA until tomorrow night and today the kids are in daycare so I cleaned a decent amount of the house and now I am taking a little break before I go to my doctor appointment.  Last night I felt so bad for the kids because they aren't used to dad leaving considering the last time he left was back in December 07.  As we were pulling out of the parking garage "N" kept saying I miss my daddy.  I kept telling him that he'll talk to him in the morning and that this is a very short trip.  So by the time we got home I gave both kids a bath they went to bed and I just vegged on the couch them brushed the cat.

Last week "The Man" said that we had to get rid of her because he was allergic to her.  She does have a medium coat and so it does bother him a I feel bad because I got mad at him since we just spent around $200 on this little stray cat getting her all fixed up and normal and now I have to get rid of her.  I told him that while he was gone I would totally clean the house and wash it down as best as I can.  I still can't give her a bath for a while since her stitches aren't dissolved yet from her being spayed.  The kids were pretty upset too when they found out what was going on and after "N's" foot doctor appointment "The Man" said that we can keep her since he's been out voted.

It was funny because Tatum (the cat) decided that she wanted to watch "O" get a bath, so she sat on the edge of the tub and watched.  Tatum has such an awesome personality.  She is so much nicer now and loves being brushed.  I think I'm going to stop for a couple of days since the brush I use takes off the under fur and it has taken off a lot. 

I have a few more appointments before my Ileostomy surgery.  It's still hard knowing that I'm not going to be a normal person again but at least I know that I will be able to live a full and long life with my family.  I know that I'll be a better parent too once all this stuff is done because I won't be stressing as much.  With everything going on I have also enrolled "N" into a montessori school that he starts next week.  He's getting so excited and I am too because it's a fully private school and I think that it will be a good way for him to learn.  It'll be a little harder for me to get things done since "O" will be staying home with me but that's ok because we'll have good quality mom/daughter time.

With the surgery coming up it's been hard to me to not be on the edge but at least I know that we can depend on my "MIL" to help us.  She's been awesome enough to tell us that she is coming out to help take care of the kids while I have the surgery.  That's great because I just really want my kids here with me.  Plus "N" said that he doesn't want to miss any of his school unless he's sick and even then he doesn't want to miss it.  He's so looking forward to it.  I feel bad because up until now we have had the freedom to travel and never took full advantage of it and with this school I have to pay whether he goes or not.  Plus with this school he will also be going to kindergarten there as well.

The kids have made it well known that they no longer wish to really go out anymore.  It's both good and bad, when I get stir crazy and want to leave they ("N") doesn't want to.  He was really bad this past weekend but I think a lot had to do with "The Hubby" leaving a he was just throwing a very long temper tantrum to stop him from leaving.  Obviously "The Hubby" still had to go but I think he was kind of happy to leave since he's able to spend a few days away from the family.  He needs to do that and I try to get him to as well.  I've been trying to get him to do things without the family, driving range or whatever.  We did go to the driving range last Tuesday and I sucked really badly at it.  It's been about six or seven years since a hit a golf ball and I used to go out a few times a week by myself during the day just to hit golf balls.  I was getting kind of good and then I stopped because it was getting pricey.  Now I'm lucky if I can even hit 5 balls out of the bucket.  I gave "The Man" the rest of my balls and he left them because he was getting tired.

I hurt so bad for about four days afterwards.  Now he sees that I do need a few lessons because I suck so badly.  I gave him a pretty good laugh while NOT hitting the balls.  If this were to have happened a few years ago I would have been so mad that I would have made him leave with me.  I tried hitting balls for a good 45 minutes but it just really wasn't my day.  After a little bit I would just stand behind him and just watch him hit those balls with ease.  He used to work on a golf course where we grew up, actually the golf course he worked on was right behind my uncle's house.  The golf course is now a housing community but still yet another time where we could have met.

I do have a full body CT scan scheduled for Wednesday so that means I'll be spending all day Wednesday at Mayo Clinic with other appointments.  I guess I can't really complain because I am getting excellent attention and service.  They really are very nice and thorough with everything they are doing for me, I couldn't ask for a better group of people.  With what I have, they are treating me as though I have cancer for the tests but once everything comes back and I have the surgery I won't have to have the treatments luckily. 

Protect yourself and have a colonoscopy done, it's one of the a few good things you need to do to live a full and happy life.  If you know that there is a family history of colorectal cancer then do the right thing, get off your butt and get it looked at.  I really didn't mind going through it because it gave me a peace of mind and even though it's not the outcome I wanted to hear, it's the best outcome I could have asked for.  I know now that I will no longer have a chance of having colon cancer since those cells are going to be taken out.  Go have it done, it will be the best day of sleep you'll ever have!!!  Schedule one today!