So this last week has been a total pain in the butt.  I have been very sick and here it is Saturday and I'm still not feeling well.  "The Hubby" is working for a little bit today and "The Step-Mom" is taking care of the kids so I can just try to feel better.  She leaves tomorrow and after that, I'm on my own with two kids.  So needless to say I'm relying on her to take care of the kids so this week I can take care of them myself.

So I had to start taking Percocet again just because whatever this is is actually causing my an incredible amount of pain that I can't get over without the help of the pretty blue pills.  I have only take 3 in the past two days which isn't bad but I'm still not happy.

I'm losing more weight again but from what I understand from my surgeons that's going to happen and all I can do is make sure that I stay hydrated and resting.  I really have been trying to go to the gym and use the recumbent bike just because it's easier than walking out in 100 degree weather.  The kids are acting like a bunch of selfish, spoiled rotten jerks and you know what they can act that way while "The Step-Mom" is here but things will be totally different once she's gone.

Well I need to give the kids lunch, have them take naps, run to IKEA and then go to church.  I'll try to write more later.

So it's been again a long while since I've posted but it's because I'm still recuperating from the crazy surgery.  Also with the holiday weekend this past weekend, I just wanted to sleep, so that's what I did.  I stayed in bed until 10 am then started my days.  Now that "N" is back in school for a few days this week, I had to start our routine again.

"O" comes home tomorrow.  I wonder how big she's gotten.  I haven't seen her in just over two weeks and she's finally starting to go on the toilet again. Yeah!!  I'm finally getting my right arm back after the surgery but that's still not 100% but it's about 85% now.  Slowly getting used to the restricted diet but still not doing well.  My weight loss has finally stabilized at 123lbs.  Still sucks because I can't walk anywhere without shoes, my lower back hurts a great deal of the time.  I'm sure this wouldn't have been so bad except for the fact that I lost the weight in a matter of a week.  At least I'm not losing anymore.

I started taking a multi-vitamin again today.  I figured that I probably could use the extra supplements.  Luckily the vitamins I take actually get digested unlike Centrum or the other crappy so called "vitamins".  I did hit a sort of depression over the weekend and I'm waiting to hear from my doctor that it's okay to take a natural stress response capsule to help with that.  Anything I can do to make myself more comfortable I will do it.

"N" starts going to soccer camp at the end of June.  I gave him the choice of either baseball or soccer and he chose soccer.  I think he'll have fun and then also he'll only be going to school half days for that month so we'll see how it goes.  "The Hubby" is also training to to be in his first 5/K race in June as well and everyday that "N" has off, we all go to help "The Hubby" run.  "N" runs around the track with him.  I'll start running after my second surgery in August.  My goal is to be able to finish a 5/K by this time next year in Chicago.  That should give me enough time to get recovered and get on the ball.

So we are also going to start raising a stink to the fact that because I pay my taxes for the public schools and that we are in a school district that I can't even use the facilities my money pays for unless I spend more money to rent it PLUS take out a 1 million dollar insurance policy.  How crappy is that?  I can't believe that we have become a society that can't seem to think for themselves. 

Here are a few examples:

• We lost the right to accompany our family members to the gates at the airport.  We are herded like cattle through a screening process that has been proven to not really make a difference in our safety.
• We can't even save our money that way we want to for Social Security because the government thinks that we're to stupid to save it on our own.  That's why there won't be a Social Security when I'm older.
• Don't get me started on taxes.
• We pay our taxes and then we don't even know really where the money goes and then they have the nerve to raise taxes again because they overspend.

Do you get what I'm saying here?  We are acting like a bunch of lazy stupid people and letting other people run our lives for us.  When are we as a society going to stand up and say, "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I WANT MY CIVIL RIGHTS BACK!!!!"  We are a very shameful bunch of people who are to busy with look at how big my house is or look at this new expensive whatever I bought.  Never mind the fact that most people are is so much debt that they can't even afford to put gas in their ginormous SUV's.  I love the fact that people who bought houses they knew they could never afford to buy, bought it anyway and are now being foreclosed on and have the nerve to say, "That big, bad, bank is taking my house now I have no place for my family to sleep."  Well you should have thought of your family when you bought your stupid, overpriced, huge home that you NEVER should have bought.

Personal responsibility, something we seem to also lack.

After renting this home and with the lifestyle changes that we are making, we have decided that we never need this big of a house for just the four of us.  We have a 3,400 sq ft. home, two stories and all that stuff and luckily we'll be getting rid of it soon but at least I was able to be in this home so I know now what NOT to buy.  Renting does have it's advantages, you don't have to worry about selling it, you can move in either 6 month or a year whatever your lease is.  It's a nice thing to have this much freedom.

We are going to be getting rid of at least one car and possibly getting a SMART car in it's place.  You have to change the way you live now if you want your kids to be comfortable when they're our age.  I just don't understand people who complain about gas prices but yet don't change their driving habits and then still go out and buy the Excursions or other ginormous SUV.  People need to think before they buy.

Ok so I'll get off that rant but I still hope that you read that and really think about it because it's all true.

Today was the first time I have driven in over two weeks.  Let me tell you how tiring that is.  I feel so ashamed because by the time I got back and started writing this post, I have had a severe headache and really worn out.  It was a nice break for "The Hubby" because he can get an extra hour of work done before he has to go pick up "N".  We have found that right now, mornings are the best time for me to go and do things.  As the day goes on, the more exhausted I feel.

Back to recovery:

Ok so from what I can remember I think I started on a clear diet the next day after surgery.  I think I was allowed to have broth and some other things I just can't remember right now.  I still had the IV so if I wasn't getting nourished for actually eating, I was from that.  I was sipping water because you're not allowed to gulp water because it can cause severe pain and gas.  I think I was up and walking by Wednesday night.  Not very fast and very sore and tired.  I really didn't want to do much of anything.

As time progressed I was getting up a little quicker with a little less pain.  Walking farther and eating a little bit more.  With how I have to eat now, I have to eat smaller more frequent meals and with a good size list of things I can't eat for 6 weeks, it's a little daunting.  One thing I will say that I really don't like eating are eggs.  They are not exactly the best smelling when they come out.  I am no longer allowed to eat any kind of nuts unless it's a creamy peanut butter (which when you eat a PB&J sandwich, your stool gets incredibly thick).  You have to chew your food longer to make sure that it's fine enough so it can be digested easier. 

Since you don't have your colon anymore, your food gets digested quicker and you're not able to absorb the nutrients as good as before.  I now have been told to up my real salt intake (no more No Salt) to help the absorption.  I don't use a whole lot, just a little in my potato and when I cook pasta.  I have been able to eat out, which "The Hubby" likes but I don't because I don't know really how it's cooked or what's inside.  You know the whole: No pineapples, olives, broccoli, bell peppers, sweet potatoes, nuts, etc.  Basically the things I used to love to eat, I'm no longer allowed to.

But here I am two weeks later, sleeping on my right side, able to get up and down without help or waking "The Hubby", driving, walking quite a ways and yet still very tired and hungry.

I did have to change my whole appliance yesterday without anyone's help which is a good step.  It's a really cheap step as well.  Monday I had to go in to Mayo to see the Wound Care nurse and she made me do it myself.  I did it and she said that I did a really good job, later I realized that the top part of the appliance tape wasn't on right and the skin was very irritated so I went 24 hours with it and changed it.  It didn't hurt taking the appliance off but it took forever to put back on because I kept pooping.  I still don't have a good time schedule down yet. 

It won't really matter because this will be gone in either August or September and then I'll be a normal person pooping out of my butt.

If you have the FAP disorder and it's found before it has a chance to turn into cancer, have the procedure done.  If it's caught early enough then you may be eligible to have the temporary Ileostomy and the J-pouch reconstruction.  I think it's better that having cancer and then living with a bag the rest of your life.  Since mine is a temporary one, I have been told that my recovery will take longer and that by the time I feel comfortable with everything, then the bag will be taken away.

That's a really good feeling because knowing the things you can and can't do while you have a temporary one is not fun.  You can't lift over 10 lbs., can't use the right side of you body to carry things, etc.  In less that three months, I will be a normal, heavy lifting, right side carrying person.

I won't lie and say, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me and this is way easier because it's not.  It's a new way of life for the rest of you life.  It will be hard for a few months but then you will be an almost whole person again in three months.  You will get through this AND you never have to worry about colon cancer again AND you will be their for you kids and grandkids.

So here it is I think exactly two weeks since my surgery and I'm finally able to start doing things.  I know that I promised that I would update you on my progress but being on Percocet isn't something I felt like doing and also my posts would have made no sense whatsoever.  So here I am finally not drugged out and bored out of my mind.

Why am I bored, do you ask?  Well the reason being is because I am not allowed to drive since I am still on pain medicine.  So that being said, I can't go out by myself.  Lovely times right?  It's not really that bad, it just sucks because "The Hubby" has to take "N" to and from school, take me to doctor appointments among other things.  So he pretty much hasn't been able to work in a few weeks.  It does help that my darling little 3 year old "O" is actually up in Michigan with family for the past few weeks.  There's no way that I could have healed and dealt with my two monsters who I love with all of my heart.

So you want to know that nitty gritty huh?  Here's what I can remember about how this all went down.  We got to the hospital at 5:15 Tuesday, May 6, we waited for a few minutes then I was called back.  They made me pee in a cup, put their gown on open to the back.  Put their stockings on, numbed my hand to put a HUGE IV in gave me a shot of Heparin in my arm (really freaking crappy) put the lovely Bair Hug and the leg thingys on.  Then I was able to meet all the people who will be performing the surgeries and all that fun jazz.  They finally let "The Hubby" come back and hang with me, then the fun began.

They wheeled me into OR#3 and I don't remember how many people were in there but there were a lot.  There was a lot of bright lights and then I moved from one bed to the other and that's all I remember until I got into recovery.  My surgery ended up going for 7 hours instead of the 4-6 hours he thought.  Don't worry there were no complications, the problem was that my torso was a little longer and he had to stretch my small intestine down and really finagle it to get the procedure done.

Recovery sucked because I was waiting for a room for 4 hours and the guy next to me was a jerk because he kept screaming, "I HAVE TO PEE!"  The nurses said, "Sir, it's OK because you have a catheter."  I swear this went on FOREVER and finally four people had to hold this old man down.  I felt bad for my nurse because I kept asking for "The Hubby" and pain killers.  She was nice though and I remember the nurses saying the "The Hubby" was really a cutie.  They spoiled him by giving him warm blankets and were just super sweet to him while he waited for me.

My room was finally available and I was moved to the 7th floor.  I feel so bad for my nurses because they were so sweet and I was so mean.  They asked me if I could move on my own from one bed to the other and I yelled, "NO!"  I really was in a lot of pain.  So there was a lift machine that did it and OMG it was cool but yet so painful.  Later I found out that I'm allergic to Morphine and was put on Fentanyl for my pain pump.

All but one nurse was on her game, I feel bad for the one because she just seemed to lack common sense, but we won't dwell on her.  The other nurses rocked and were super sweet, my two awesome surgeons came to visit me all but one day in the hospital.  Total sweethearts. 

Now for the recovery.

All I can say is that it really sucks.  The only thing getting me through this is the fact that my Ileostomy is temporary.  While in the hospital I found out that Dr. Efron had put a rod in to help my stoma so it wouldn't go back inside (until it was time) so until it was removed I told them I didn't want to leave the hospital.  Since I left on a Sunday night, Wound Care was gone until Monday and my nurse who knows how to use the stoma appliances helped me with it.  I psyched myself up about the rod being removed because of the pain I felt from my drain being removed.  BTW, the rod removal was the least painful thing ever.

So once the On call surgeon removed the rod, it took us 45 minutes to get the bag on because I was just pooping up a storm and my skin was getting irritated.  But eventually we got it on good enough to be on for two days.

Just a word of whatever you want to call it: When you have your colon removed, your diet changes for the rest of your life.  You are now to be on a Low Residue/Low Fiber diet and for the first six weeks there are certain foods that you are not allowed to eat.  One I will tell you is don't eat anything with any kind of onion.  I don't care if it's onion powder, don't eat onion anything because you get soo gassy.

So anyway, I have lost a lot of weight since the surgery I am now down to 124lbs. and not liking it.  I look anorexic and feel like crap.  My doctor said it's normal and now I have the ok to eat whatever I want as long as it's not on the do not eat list.  I will tell you more tomorrow because I don't want to scare you guys away completely, so I will share some good points tomorrow.

So here it is almost 6:30 pm Arizona time and I finally can blog.  I spent all day yesterday at Mayo Clinic and was trying to find every excuse to not work since I figured that once I started then I would get called and it just really wasn't a productive day, kind of like today.

Since yesterday was "O's" 3rd birthday we didn't do a whole lot just because it was a long day and my sitter was over an hour late and on top of it she didn't really do a whole lot with her and "O" watched herself and didn't even eat the lunch she was supposed to eat.  It just wasn't a good day and neither was today.  My niece was born and at first things were good and now things have changed but I can't really say because stuff is still being figured out.  I went to meet my surgeon today again and had a room full of people watch me as I had a quick little scope and get my prescriptions for Monday.

My surgery has now been scheduled and I go into the Mayo Clinic Hospital at 5:30am and will be in surgery for about six hours and the surgery actually starts at 7am.  It should make for a fun day.

Today I just want my kids to leave.  I'm really tempted to pull "N" out of Montessori because his attitude sucks more than it ever did at the daycare he went to.  He's even more of a bully to "O", a worse listener and way bossier.  I'm not paying $530 a month for crap like that.  Yes I know that there is a lot of stress here at home but still I have never had to raise my voice because of them not listening.  I'm actually looking forward to staying in the hospital because the kids won't be coming since they probably will be carrying something that may get someone else sick. 

We were trying to get a few people over to the house on Sunday for a little get together but not shaping up too well.  No big deal because we just thought of it today since we are going to miss a girl's party since it's clear on the other side of town and we're going to the Saturday night service at church.  We are also going to go to the Sunday to the regular service.  We got our baptism pictures and certificates today which was kind of cool.

Last night we also got new phones.  Yes I know that we just bought two about two months ago but I'll tell what, the phones we had are a piece of crap and luckily we were able to keep those phones but have renew our contract again but got the Blackberry Pearls for $29.99 from Cingular.  How cool is that????  Pretty freaking cool if you ask me.  Yes I'm going to sell the HTC Tilts that we have because maybe someone else would like it better than me.

I have been trying to clean the house and have laundry done every night so that way it's less for my "MIL" to do while she's here and that way if people drop by I won't be embarrassed about the house.  We have decided to keep a log of money so we can see where money is going since we make a good amount but really don't know where it's all going.  It's so hard right now because I have to pay my copay every time for each appointment and then since we were at Mayo all day that I didn't even have a chance to get her a card.  I know I'm a bad mom but she's only 3 years old and she has a lot of stuff already and most of it just sits there.  Yes I'm callused but whatever.

Well I should give the kids a bath they are gross and I also need to vacuum their rooms and also give them clean sheets.