Do you ever just get so frustrated that you just don't know what to do with yourself? I am to that point. I'm there with me, I'm there because of my job and other things.

I know that I'm not the greatest mom and I totally admit to that. I know that there are times that I just need to walk away but don't. Then you just get lost. My family is lost right now and we are really trying to find ourselves. Tonight was my first night off in over ten days. It was a rough day for me because I had spent a good majority of the day cleaning my house.

Yes I know you say, "Well anytime you want to come over my house will be clean." I'm am now a liar. Most days I end up taking the kids out to some place for a few hours (so "The Hubby" can actually work) then we come home and eat lunch. "O" then takes her nap and then "N" and I just have our time together for about 2 hours then I get ready for work and I work 4-5 hours a night. When I get home I'm lucky if I can spend ten minutes with "The Hubby" before he goes back to work.

Do you remember the days before cell phones and computers? I do I remember that we didn't get a "Computer-laptop" until I was in seventh or eight grade. But that was only used for me to type up papers and I had never even heard of the internet. Our first real computer was bought back I think when I was a junior in high school. Even then I still didn't know what the internet was.

It was a beautiful time. I didn't even get a cell phone until 2000 when I married "The Hubby". Nobody knew where you were 24 hours out of the day. You had to entertain yourself instead of using the computer. It's just so frustrating because that's all "The Hubby's" job revolves around. He was talking about taking a family vacation but we'll see about that.

I love my husband and I feel bad that he thinks he has to work all the time and just revolve that way.

My job is getting a little crazy because when I was hired I told my boss that there would be times that I needed to have a few days at a time so "The Hubby" can do his job and travel.

Ok I'm done. I'm going to bed and we'll see tomorrow the outcome from all of this. Good Night!