I have been trying to do some soul searching and I have been trying to be a better mom for quite sometime.  I have tried many things to help me do that.  I'm still not where I should be but I think I'm doing a little bit better.  Like all in life, you can't just do it over night, it takes time.  I love my kids and really they are pretty well behaved kids compared to other kids.  They used to be really good eaters up until I sent them to daycare.  Watch that too because you could have the greatest eaters until then because when they go they will see kids who don't eat what they are supposed to (veggies and fruits, because parents are scared of their kids) and start imitating them.  We are getting them back into eating better and with them not going to school or daycare, that helps too.  Plus we don't eat out much and if we do, they don't get to eat macaroni and cheese.

"O" does a really good job keeping her room clean, well that's until "N" goes in and then they get a little crazy.  What's really sad is "N" will make a mess in his room, nothing to horribly bad but just his Magnetix or something and the rule is you clean your room before you go to bed.  Well now he keeps his room clean but before it would take him all day and then it got to the point where I would just get so mad that I couldn't talk to him.  I feel like a maid to them a lot of the time and it really wears me down, the only thing I ask is that they clean their rooms and take their clean clothes to their rooms and put them away.  It's taking some adjusting but we are slowly getting there.

I am trying to learn to have more patience.  I still don't have a lot but I am letting them do more things than I used to.  If they want to scream super loud and play rough, fine but when the screaming goes on for over a half hour then we need to take a break and to something else or I will have a super bad headache.  The other day I spent a long time reorganizing their rooms and vacuuming them and the whole time I let them scream and jump around on the bed and they had a great old time.  After letting them do that for a while we did some other things together and that night we went for a walk and it was fun.

We don't seem to have as many temper tantrums I don't think.  We go out now after dinner and that way we pretty much stay out of the heat and we eat at home because it's better for everyone, healthier and cheaper. 

I have been trying to get healthy as well and also trying to wake up earlier too.  I figured that if I can exercise and shower before the kids are fully awake, then we shouldn't have to many problems either.  I know that I need to have them on a routine all day and I do find that difficult sometimes.  The mornings are a give in, wake up, get dressed, make beds, bring dirty clothes down and eat breakfast.  Before bed we take showers, "O" gets her hair braided, we do Devotion and we tuck them in bed for the night.  So now it's just getting a routine down during the day and also be able to work.  I feel bad for "The Hubby" because he doesn't have to work from an office so we really don't get a break from each other.  Sometimes it's nice when we works from home but it can cause problems.

I think that we have also decided that we are going to keep "N" at the montessori school until we move.  We agreed that this school, yet far away is the best school for him right now.  It's expensive with the monthly cost, the cost of gas, daily lunch he needs to bring plus we have to bring snacks.  Oh well, I guess if you want your kids to have a great private education, you have to suck it up and deal with it.

I know that this has no rhyme or reason today but today didn't have one either so I just found it fitting.